The IPV Stairway illustrates the trajectory of abuse — from developmental trauma to finding yourself in an abusive relationship. It forms the roots of the Healing Tree and traces the steps many survivors have unknowingly walked, leading them into the arms of their abuser(s).
The hard truth is that landing in an abusive relationship is a setup from the beginning — because you can’t step off a path you don’t yet know you’re on. The same traits we’re often rewarded for, especially as women — self-sacrifice, over-accommodation, people-pleasing, and making ourselves small — are the very traits that make us vulnerable to abuse. And when we finally find a way out, those same traits are used to blame us for what we’ve endured. It’s gaslighting on the grandest scale.
When you explore the Stairway through your own lived experience, it helps dissolve shame and self-blame, revealing just how deeply it was never your fault. It becomes an emotional journey of empowerment — transforming the question, “How did I let this happen?” into “How did I land here?”. This is so often when healing begins!
